CHILDREN AND CHANGE
Tips for teaching children how to cope with life’s stressful events.
Jane Lash, RN, IBCLC
Parents can’t shield kids from change—it’s a normal and necessary part of life. However, by keeping the following information in mind, parents may be able to help their children learn how to cope with the emotional upsets changes in their
day-to-day life can cause.
SIGNS that your child may be experiencing stress:
- Changes in behavior: mood swings, “acting out,” changes in sleep patterns, thumb sucking, or bedwetting
- Physical symptoms such as stomach upsets and headaches
- Trouble concentrating, deciding, or completing tasks
- Loss of interest in normal activities
- Dropping grades at school
- Withdrawing or spending more time alone than usual
- Aggressiveness, lying, or defying authority
SOURCES of stress include:
- Moving from the family home
- Changing schools
- Divorce
- Death and grief
- Addition of a new sibling
SUGGESTIONS to consider which might help the child under stress:
- Discuss the reasons for the change in terms the child can understand
- Point out some of the advantages the change may represent to the child
- Let your child be involved in some decisions related to the change
- Resist the urge to criticize your spouse or other family members
- Don’t involve your child in private, adult conflicts, or decisions
- If you find a situation upsetting (death or divorce, for example), look for someone else your child can talk over his or her feelings with.
When major changes affect your family, YOU may be feeling sad or scared or confused, too; but by watching, listening and talking honestly with your child, you help him or her learn important coping skills, and you may even find the process comforting yourself!
